


I Know I Gotta Let Go

by maelstromdeparture



Series: Spirit of the Sea [10]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Adventure, Breaking and Entering, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Magic, Murder, Pirates, Prophets, Sirens, Witches, i'm not sure what else to tag this honestly, they break into a fort?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28578492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maelstromdeparture/pseuds/maelstromdeparture
Summary: The Levanter makes its way to Fort Gales where the next step in their battle against the pirates and the government alike lies ahead. A stealth mission, a confrontation, and a runaway await the Levanter's arrival.
Series: Spirit of the Sea [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1927246
Comments: 18
Kudos: 42





	I Know I Gotta Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> okay i realize that it's less than 24hrs since i last updated and i know i mentioned i was sick in the last one but i promise i'm sleeping and getting better. there's just only so much netflix i can watch in one go before i go crazy...anyway 
> 
> Warnings!!!!  
> -implied referenced abuse  
> -violence
> 
> i think that's everything important if i've missed any warnings pls let me know :D  
> enjoy! :)

It takes almost two weeks for the Levanter to get to Fort Gales, having to dodge Navy and pirate ships alike on their way. When they do get there they arrive long after the sun has gone down and Chan follows Seungmin’s directions to sail the Levanter past the docks to the cliffs on the other side of the town.

“Are we climbing up there?” asked Jeongin looking up at the cliffs. In the darkness it wasn’t going to be an easy climb.

“Yes, there are three tunnels and three rooms we’ll need to get into,” said Seungmin nodding.

“And we need someone still here for a fast getaway,” said Chan nodding. “You’re going to have to split into couples then. Do not engage if possible and if you have to, do it quietly and without drawing attention to yourselves and hide the bodies.”

“ _Dead men tell no tales,_ ” muttered Felix to himself though the others nodded in agreement. They would have to make sure that this didn’t get back to the pirates or the rest of the Navy too quickly.

“I’m not saying kill everyone, just make it hard to find the bodies or hard to believe right away,” said Chan, “we need it to get back to the rest of their allies that plans are going missing. If we can turn them against each other and cause confusion we can use it to our advantage. But we have to do this carefully because if it gets out too fast it will mean we’ll be caught and we can move fast but there are ships in the Alliances that can too. If they have a reason to hunt us they will.”

“Jisung’s not reason enough?” asked Changbin raising an eyebrow and Chan shook his head.

“A prophet that may or may not actually be helpful isn’t worth a chase across the oceans while the world’s governments are after them, but a ship that has the plans of those governments absolutely is,” said Chan in explanation. “Seungmin, where are we going?”

“One pair is going to the vault,” said Seungmin, “that’ll have treasure, weapons, and ammo stockpile. Anything that look useful take. There should be a shit ton of maps in there among other things. It’s also where they’ll have stored any documents on their exchanges with the other countries. Another pair is going to the war room. That’s where the map and all the official plans will be. It’ll have everything laid out and where each ships are set and where they think we are as well as the main ports of contact with the other countries and where they’re planning to get the most pirates. It’s important that all of that information be taken with us. It’ll only be written down in one place if we take it, they’ll either have to ask one of the others or rely completely on memory alone. It’ll cause a lot of confusion and will only help us. And the last pair is going to my father’s office. That’s where all the trade books and any of his personal plans are. Everything he would have presented to the Crown will be there, all his plans and deals with other politicians and military officials will be there and information on every single trade ship that works for him or a company he has deals with. It’ll be the best information on the slave trade we’ll ever get our hands on.”

“Okay, who’s going?” asked Minho looking to Chan.

“I’m staying, I have to,” said Chan with a sigh, “if I don’t stay the Levanter doesn’t get out of here fast.”

“I’ll stay with you, hyung,” said Jeongin nodding, “if I stay with you I can help keep us hidden from the other ships and keep anyone from wandering too far this way.” Chan nodded.

“That means the rest of you are pairing up,” he said, “Seungminnie, what do you think? You know this fort the best.” Seungmin was quiet a moment.

“Hyunjin and Minho-hyung to the war room,” he said, “Changbin-hyung and Jisung-hyung to the vault. Me and Felix will go to my dad’s office.”

“Any particular reasons why?” asked Minho already reaching to strap the axe he had recently acquired in Tortuga to his back so he was ready to go. The others hurried to grab anything they might need, throwing satchels over their shoulders and making sure their weapons were secure.

“Hyunjin reads English and the two of you are some of the quietest,” said Seungmin nodding. “The War room and dad’s office are the places most likely to have people nearby so you’ll have to be really careful. You pay a lot of attention to your surroundings and Hyunjin should be able to tell exactly what needs to come back to the Levanter. And if you get caught it’ll be by an official and most of the officials are very superstitious. Throw a little magic whether it’s harmless or not and they’ll be scared. They’re also the most likely to have a hand in the slave trade so a vengeful ghost carrying an axe that already took the head of one will be useful as well. There’s a lot of mystery around the Levanter let’s use it to its fullest. Changbin and Jisung are going to the vault because Jisung reads the most languages and Changbin is the best with breaking into things. Between the two of them everything even a little valuable will make its way back here. And me and Felix are going to dad’s office because I’ll know where he hides all the important things and it’s also where there’s most likely to be a fight. And Felix is the strongest fighter of the eight of us and the one that does the best when backed into a corner.” Felix nodded at that and the others agreed.

“Alright, now how are we getting up there?” asked Hyunjin looking up at the cliff. “Is it high?”

“It’s not very high up,” said Seungmin shaking his head. “I know the way. I’ll climb up and throw down a rope.” Agreement echoed on the deck at that and Chan inched Levanter closer to the rock, trying to get him as close as he could with out causing a crash. Jeongin did his best to help, keeping the water around them calmer. It was always a little odd to watch Jeongin use his magic after they’d spent so long pretending he didn’t have any, but he had been slowly using it more and more often, trying to get used to it in the past couple weeks in case they needed it. Seungmin pulled one of the coils of rope over his head and then climbed up and over the side of the ship, before jumping onto the rocks below. It didn’t take him very long at all to climb up the cliffside, with the ease and surety that he did it he had clearly done it several times before. It was less than ten minutes before he had thrown the rope down and Changbin grabbed it to climb up after him, the others following one by one. The opening in the cliff side was large enough that the six of them could stand in it at once but it was well hidden within the cliffs that unless they were standing in the opening you didn’t notice it from the ocean. Seungmin had tied the rope to an iron beam that ran across the top of the tunnel, one of many. Jisung crouched and looked back down at the Levanter.

“Hey, you’re right it’s really not that high up. We’ll be able to toss stuff down to them and if we have to we can jump back to the Levanter without too much damage,” he said.

“That’s good, that’ll mean we can do multiple trips to the vault if we need to,” said Changbin nodding.

“How do we navigate the tunnels, Minnie?” asked Minho looking to Seungmin.

“You’ll have to stay quiet once we get much farther in because at that point we’ll be in the actual fort,” said Seungmin. “It breaks off into three branches ahead. Me and Felix are going to the left, Changbin and Jisung straight and you and Hyunjin are going right. To get to the vault you’ll go straight, at the first fork go left at the second straight and the third will be down the stairs and left once more, follow it around take the first door. You have to be silent. It’s near the soldier barracks.”

“Got it, straight, left, straight, down the stairs, left, follow it around first door, be silent,” said Jisung repeating it back to him. “Good luck.” He and Changbin took off down the tunnel following Seungmin’s directions, running footsteps as near to silent as they could be. Seungmin nodded and turned to Minho and Hyunjin.

“Take the right branch,” he said, “go straight at the next fork and the one after that, take the left at the third one, go up the stairs and right and up the stairs and right again. You cannot make any noise once you take that first set of stairs. It’s right by all the officer offices, if you listen you’ll be able to hear them, you should be able to tell if they’re in the war room from that. It’ll be the only door in the last tunnel after you take the right.”

“Right branch, straight, straight, left, up and right and up and right,” repeated Minho getting a nod from Seungmin.

“Silence and listen after the first set of stairs,” said Hyunjin nodding. “Got it Seungminnie, good luck be safe.” Seungmin nodded and the two of them started down the branch on the right.

“Are you ready?” asked Felix looking at Seungmin and Seungmin took a deep breath before nodding.

“Let’s go,” he said. “Should I have reminded them no light?”

“No, they know,” said Felix shaking his head. “You already warned them about the noise, they know that implies not to do anything that might draw attention.” Seungmin nodded.

“We can do this,” he whispered to himself and Felix grinned back at him.

“We can do this,” he repeated. “Come on.” Seungmin nodded his head once in affirmation and led the way over to the branch on the left. Felix followed at his shoulder through the tunnel silently until it reached a point where it was pitch black and they couldn’t see each other at all anymore. At that point Seungmin jumped slightly when he felt fingers brush his back and then realized it was Felix looking for his belt when the fingers hooked around the back of his belt. Felix was making sure they didn’t lose each other. Seungmin made sure he took the stairs up after the second turn slowly so Felix could feel the steps in the darkness and wouldn’t trip. The second set of stairs and the third were taken just as slowly and Felix’s breathing quickened when they could hear soldiers on the other side of the stone wall talking loudly at different points in the journey. After the next turn the voices quieted again and the tunnel began to lighten slightly. There were a couple different tunnels branching into the hallway and a grinding noise down one of them. Seungmin halted the two of them on the edge of that hallway glancing down it. There was a boy breathing hard and crouched near the middle of the hallway, eyes on the door in front of him. He was dressed like an official’s son and carrying no weapon. Felix moved first but Seungmin caught his elbow and shook his head quickly, glad that Felix’s movement hadn’t caught the boy’s attention though he was pretty distracted. Felix gave Seungmin a confused look but didn’t say anything and let Seungmin lead the way into the hallway. Seungmin did his best to sneak up on the boy and crouched behind him, quickly slapping a hand over his mouth. The boy’s eyes went wide and he struggled quickly until meeting Seungmin’s eyes and stopping, his face betraying his shock. Seungmin lifted a finger to his lips in the universal gesture of be quiet and the boy nodded quickly in agreement. He didn’t yell when Seungmin released him or move other than to be crouched again, prepared to run. Seungmin nodded to Felix and gestured to the door. Felix moved to it first on silent feet and Seungmin found himself a little envious at how quietly Felix moved with ease, it was probably assassin training. Seungmin followed and gestured for the boy to follow too, hoping he wouldn’t get them caught. Felix listened at the door for several long moments before carefully cracking it open and shaking his head.

“No one,” he whispered barely making a noise and Seungmin nodded standing fully and pushing the door open. The three of them hurried out and Felix turned to look at the bookcase that hid the tunnel’s entrance inside the office.

“ _Can we talk now?_ ” whispered the boy quietly. Seungmin hesitated and gestured to the door to the office.

“Lix, can you listen?” he asked still whispering and Felix nodded moving over to the door to make sure there wasn’t anyone in the hallway.

“ _Okay, Dae, but quiet,_ ” whispered Seungmin turning to his father’s desk and starting to open drawers.

“ _Are you a ghost? What did I do to get haunted? I thought we were friends? I went to your funeral, Seungmin,_ ” whispered the boy now identified as Dae.

“ _Dad lied, about all of it, I’m not dead, the pirates didn’t kidnap me and he had made sure I wasn’t supposed to come back from the Navy in the first place so why he’s got this vendetta I don’t understand,_ ” said Seungmin pulling out books and shoving them into his satchel. He dropped a couple of small boxes in as well and then paused at a small hand drawn picture of a woman and boy and then carefully tucked it into his satchel between the books to keep it safe. He picked up one of the pens from the desk and scribbled out a note that he dropped into a drawer and locked for his father to find later.

“ _Why would he do that?_ ” asked Dae quietly.

“ _Oh come on. He’s never liked me. Never approved of me. I wasn’t British Empire enough. My morals were too strong, I wanted to read too much and learn too much, and had far too many questions that made him uncomfortable. You know what he was like, he hated me, Dae. Of course he couldn’t give me his legacy, I’d have ruined it. I needed to be out of the way so he could marry someone new and get a new heir. It’s not that complicated, just politics,_ ” said Seungmin shrugging. He was acting awfully blasé about the whole thing but Felix knew Seungmin well enough at this point to know that he hated what he was saying, hated that it was true and that it was how his father felt about him. He hadn’t wanted to be a disappointment to his father, but he wouldn’t have ever agreed to any of what he had found his father had been doing for so long behind his back. There was only so long his father could have hidden it from him and it was long past time all the skeletons in the Kim family closet came to light.

“ _He was devastated,_ ” whispered Dae and Seungmin shrugged.

“ _He was devastated at mum’s funeral too, turned around and fucked the maid that night,_ ” said Seungmin and Dae’s eyes widened.

“ _No,_ ” he hissed shocked, “ _really?_ ”

“ _Yep,_ ” said Seungmin nodding. “ _You know that tunnel where I hid my books backed up to their room._ ”

“ _Oh my god,_ ” whispered Dae, “ _your poor mum, not even cold in her grave and he’s fucking the maid?_ ”

“ _Probably was all along,_ ” said Seungmin shrugging.

“ _How are you so okay with this?_ ” asked Dae.

“ _Came to terms with it ages ago. It’s part of why he hated me. We fought about it a lot,_ ” said Seungmin shrugging. “ _I ran off all his mistresses because of that. It’s why he couldn’t get remarried until I was shipped off to the Navy and not coming back._ ”

“ _Can I know what happened?_ ” asked Dae, “ _if you didn’t die? You don’t look tortured?_ ”

“ _No, the Navy was torture. Changbin-hyung pulled the quartermaster off of me and killed him, because the bastard decided a pirate raid was an excellent time to rape a lower ranked sailor. Levanter took me in offered me a spot or to drop me off at the nearest port, I’ve sailed with them since,_ ” said Seungmin shrugging. “ _What were you doing in the hall?_ ”

“ _Ah, about that. I may have over heard plans I wasn’t supposed to and I was worried. So I was snooping. They said your name and I needed to know if it was about your death. But they came back in before I could find anything so I had to hide. You and your friend scared the shit out of me earlier, I was pretty sure I’d been caught. You know my dad can talk me out of a lot, but he’d still leave me in a prison cell a couple of days to teach me a lesson before taking me home and teaching me another,_ ” said Dae scowling. “ _I’m going to get out of here someday. If I can just convince mum to let him ship me off somewhere, anywhere is better than here, right?_ ”

“ _Ah, no, but we can probably help with that,_ ” said Seungmin shrugging, “ _how opposed to running away to be a pirate are you?_ ” Dae hesitated.

“ _Aren’t they going to kill all the pirates?_ ” he asked.

“ _Hey if you hate it we’ll drop you off in a port somewhere,_ ” said Seungmin nodding. He pulled a heavy red book off the shelf and dropped it into his bag, a black, and a green one following quickly.

“ _Someone’s coming,_ ” said Felix quickly and Seungmin shoved Dae towards the tunnel again. He ripped his bag off and handed it to him.

“ _Run to the cliff, drop this to the ship waiting, tell them we’re on our way,_ ” he said. “ _They won’t hurt you._ ” Dae nodded and pulled the strap over his head and ran off down the hallway as fast as he could, footsteps not slowing in the darkness of it.

“We aren’t running?” asked Felix.

“Dad’ll notice that things are missing. Tunnel will be the first place he looks, probably thinking it’s Daehwi,” said Seungmin gesturing to where the other boy had run down the hallway. “Dae’s not exactly good at not looking suspicious on this sort of stuff. We’ll have to slow him down, but he won’t be suspicious enough to raise an alarm.” Felix nodded and pulled out one of his longer daggers, Seungmin pulled out his sword as well, it was short enough it fit in the tunnel just fine. The two of them moved to the end of the tunnel silently and took up a place to either side of the opening to the hall that the door was in and waited.

“ _That stupid kid is going to get himself killed,_ ” stated a loud voice as the door opened. “ _His father really needs to have a serious conversation about propriety and lines that are not to be crossed. Someone tell General Lee that his boy’s gone and gotten himself in trouble again. That’s the fifth time this week._ ”

“ _How does he know these tunnels so well? It’s a maze down here,_ ” said another voice, one that Felix recognized from the meeting, Commodore Harrison.

“ _That’ll be my wife’s fault. He and Skye used to play hide and seek down here with her,_ ” said the first voice. “ _I’ve never understood the appeal of it, honestly, it’s incredibly spooky down here. It must be haunted._ ”

“ _Well, he can’t have gotten far, sir. It’s very dark, he’s sure to have tripped over one of the stair sets and twisted an ankle,_ ” said another voice and the light moved closer towards them. Felix hit first as the man reached them, grabbing the ankle of the man and yanking him harshly in the tunnel towards him, his lantern dropping to the ground. The man screamed but it gurgled out quickly when Felix slit his throat. Seungmin couldn’t find it in him to be guilty over it as he recognized the soldier as one of the ones that had always taken joy in throwing him and Daehwi around whenever they had annoyed their fathers.

“ _What the hell?_ ” asked Commodore Harrison. “ _Come out here, right now!_ ”

“ _Stop playing games, soldier,_ ” said the voice that belonged to Seungmin’s father walking closer. “ _Just because people believe it’s haunted down here doesn’t mean it is._ ” He paused near the opening and Felix raised and eyebrow at Seungmin who shook his head slightly. His father nudged the soldier’s foot still lying in the opening.

“ _Bye George, Harrison, something’s killed him,_ ” whispered Seungmin’s father.

“ _Don’t be ridiculous governor,_ ” said Harrison, “ _David’s not strong enough to take out a soldier and wouldn’t dare to anyhow._ ” Seungmin nodded once and Felix stood up stepping into the light grinning.

“ _No, he doesn’t sound like the type, does he?_ ” asked Felix grabbing Seungmin’s dad and putting his knife to his throat. “ _Sorry, governor, I’m sure you’re not used to this sort of treatment but it’s gotta be done. I’d like to kill you but I won’t if you keep quiet. Evening, Commodore, I must say you make good time to be here from Tortuga after only a handful of weeks. We’d have been here faster if we could, but we sort of had to keep dodging your lackeys._ ”

“ _Pirates,_ ” gasped Harrison horrified and taking a step back.

“ _Now, Harrison, I wouldn’t do that,_ ” said Seungmin standing up, “ _or Lix will go ahead and kill dear old dad here and where would that leave you? In a secret tunnel with a dead soldier and a dead governor all by yourself with nothing to show for it._ ” Harrison froze.

“ _Not if we’re pursuing a pirate ship,_ ” he hissed taking another step back and Felix laughed.

“ _If we’ve been dodging your ships and the pirates for the past few weeks, stopped in another port and still got here only a little after you, do you really think we won’t be gone by the time you manage to warn an entire fort? No one will believe you when there’s not even a ship on the horizon,_ ” said Felix grinning. “ _But sure, go ahead and tell everyone how Levanter’s assassin killed the governor. People will definitely believe a ghost story did it when you’re the only witness._ ”

“ _Skye?_ ” whispered the governor staring at his son shocked. Seungmin spared him a singular glance backwards.

“ _What, shocked to see me? Don’t think I don’t know about your plan to have me never come home. Skye Kim is dead just as you wanted. And if you keep your mouth fucking shut you’ll actually live to continue being a bastard,_ ” said Seungmin rolling his eyes. “ _Harrison, be a doll and pull that door shut._ ” Harrison moved towards the door and pulled it shut.

“ _Weapons on the ground please, kick them over,_ ” said Seungmin, “ _try anything funny and we can see how fast Felix’s reflexes are. They’re fast believe me._ ”

“ _Are you really running around with assassins?_ ” asked Governor Kim horrified.

“ _Better yet, I broke him out of one of your slave ships myself,_ ” said Seungmin, “ _helped him dismember the man that kidnapped him too._ ”

“ _I always knew there was crazy in your mother’s family. It skipped her but you could tell. She wasn’t quite right. I always worried it would be apparent in you and here it is. I supposed blood always outs,_ ” said Governor Kim distastefully. “ _You have truly lost your mind. You’re no son of mine anymore._ ”

“ _I’d argue I never was,_ ” said Seungmin carelessly as he picked up Harrison’s weapons and slid them into his own belt. He pulled out another length of rope and walked over to grab Harrison, making quick work of tying him up.

“Felix, bring him over here, we’ll tie them together, close enough to the door that they can kick at it and someone will come get them before too long,” said Seungmin and Felix brought the governor over and shoved him down to the ground.

“More than enough time for us to escape before someone comes looking for them,” said Seungmin as he made quick work of tying the two together as Felix found pieces of their clothing to gag the two of them with.

“Can I break his jaw?” asked Felix, “since we’re not killing him?” Seungmin shrugged.

“Sure, after all it’s not like I’m his son apparently,” said Seungmin and Felix grinned and smacked the governor hard across the face with the hilt of his dagger. The governor howled in pain behind the gag as both pirates stood up.

“ _Oh don’t worry I’m sure someone will come along soon,_ ” said Seungmin rolling his eyes at the two men on the ground one crying in pain and the other struggling to no avail to free himself.

“Let’s go,” he said to Felix turning and leading the way back down the tunnel, not looking back once. Felix hurried after him. They’re silent as they make their way through the tunnel quickly and quietly. Minho and Hyunjin are already on their way down the rope as they reach the main entrance and Jisung and Changbin aren’t far behind them.

“Are you okay?” asked Felix looking at Seungmin who shrugged.

“I don’t know yet,” he said, “can I have some time to process before I answer that?” Felix nodded.

“Just talk to someone about it, okay? That couldn’t have been easy,” said Felix and Seungmin nodded.

“Okay, I will, don’t worry about me,” said Seungmin smiling at him. It didn’t matter as much in that moment that his father hated him and wanted him dead. These boys were his family and had been more of a family than that man had ever been.

“Something happened?” asked Changbin concerned.

“Ran into my dad,” said Seungmin, “don’t worry we took care of it.”

“Alright,” said Changbin nodding.

“Okay, stand aside!” called Jisung lugging over a chest to the opening once Hyunjin and Minho had both dropped onto the ship below. He tossed the chest over and it landed on the ship.

“Climb down quick, I’ll jump after,” said Felix pointing to the rope. “We shouldn’t leave any evidence. Anything we can do to make their story sound insane the better.” The other three agreed and hurried to slide down the rope to the ship below. Felix worked it free from the beam and took the rope with him as he jumped from the opening and landed on the ship below him, rolling to take the impact. He bounced right back up to everyone’s relief and Chan pulled the ship away from the land and out into the open ocean as fast as the wind would take them. The rest of the crew hurried to help sail or put things away as he did so. More than one of them shooting a curious look to the boy looking very out of place on the deck holding tightly to the railing. Once they were far out into the open ocean and Jeongin and Chan had both confirmed there was no one near them at all they gathered back on the deck.

“So me and Changbin-hyung may have all but cleared out the vault in the time we had,” said Jisung shrugging. “We got all the useful stuff first and then just took the stuff that was valuable until the rest of you were done.”

“There were a lot of maps,” said Changbin, “oh and a crown?”

“I’m sorry a crown? Like in a safe?” asked Felix.

“Oh my god. Did we accidentally steal one of the Crowns of the Queen?” asked Seungmin eyes wide.

“Uh, you’ll have to look for yourself. I have no idea what that would look like,” said Changbin shrugging.

“Me and Hyunjin have the plans and the map and the location of every Navy ship and trade route,” said Minho nodding, “we put it in the map room, hyung.” Chan nodded.

“I pulled all my dad’s books and records from his office,” said Seungmin nodding, “including his plans that he presented to the government and his personal journal where he keeps everything else. Uh and also this is Lee Daehwi, he’s not so sure about the pirate thing but he wanted to escape so we might have to drop him off somewhere. He’s a friend of mine so be nice.”

“ _Be nice as in don’t scare him too much? Or as in teach him to climb the rigging and use a sword? Because there’s two very different approaches to telling us to be nice, Minnie,_ ” said Jisung grinning.

“ _He’s probably and official’s son so it’s probably the second, besides he looks scared enough. Hey, do you speak Korean? You have a Korean name,_ ” said Hyunjin.

“ _No, I’m sorry. My parents never taught me,_ ” said Daehwi shaking his head.

“ _That’s okay, Felix didn’t speak Korean either,_ ” said Jisung nodding. “ _I’m Jisung, first mate, nice to meet you. Seungminnie says you’re a friend of his?_ ”

“ _Um, yes? Childhood friend. Are you really going to drop me off in a port?_ ” asked Daehwi. “ _Because I’m pretty sure I just committed treason and can’t go home._ ”

“ _Yeah we’ll drop you off wherever you like,_ ” said Chan nodding. “ _We’re due back in Australia pretty soon so we can make a detour there if you want? Sydney’s nice._ ”

“ _Yeah, my parents would help you too,_ ” said Felix nodding.

“ _That works I suppose,_ ” said Daehwi nodding. “ _Are you sure you can do that though?_ ”

“ _Uh, actually that’s a good point, hyung,_ ” said Seungmin hesitantly. “Should we be worried about having to stop in with the others first? We may not be able to get to Australia very fast if we’re having to constantly dodge the Navy and the pirates.”

“I don’t know,” said Chan grimacing, “it’ll depend. _Daehwi, if we can’t get you to Australia very fast we can at least get you somewhere that will be safe and can get you to Australia after things have blown over some._ ” Daehwi nodded.

“ _That’s good enough for me,_ ” he said, “ _is there any way I can help you all?_ ”

“ _You’re welcome to take a look at the maps with us, feel free to share any ideas,_ ” said Chan shrugging. “Everyone get some sleep, I’ll keep us on path. We need to reach Ego’s haven in the next two weeks.” The seven of them agree and Minho corrals everyone in the direction of bed, Seungmin tugging a confused Daehwi with him.

“ _Everyone sleeps together, Dae,_ ” explained Seungmin quickly as they reached the cabin. Felix pulled off his shoes and weapons quickly and jumped up onto the bed.

“Innie,” he called holding his hands out and making grabbing motions at the youngest who laughed and ditched his shoes quickly to crawl into bed and flop on top of the shorter boy.

“Yah, Jeongin-ah, you didn’t take off your weapons,” complained Minho moving over to pull the weapons off the maknae and set them carefully in their place before doing the same with his own and adjusting Jisung’s when Jisung haphazardly adds them to the pile. Shoes come next and Changbin claims one of the hammocks having removed his weapons and shoes quickly as well. Seungmin added his to the piles and Daehwi hesitantly placed his shoes next to Seungmin’s.

“ _Dae, you can take the other hammock, okay?_ ” asked Seungmin pointing and Daehwi nodded and carefully climbed into it. Hyunjin looked at Seungmin as Minho climbed into bed next to Felix and Jeongin.

“Do you want the window with Jisungie or do you want the bed?” he asked.

“I’ll take the window. Me and Jisung-ah fit there better than you and Jisung-ah do, you’re too tall, Hyunjin-hyung,” said Seungmin nodding decisively and then moving over to the window seat and climbing over Jisung to be against the wall. Jisung whined about it for a moment before settling in again and wrapping both his arms tightly around Seungmin. Hyunjin climbed into the bed with the other three who adjusted quickly to make room for him, Minho pulling him close.

“ _Is there really enough room? I can sleep on the floor if you need the hammock,_ ” said Daehwi.

“ _No one’s sleeping on the floor,_ ” insisted Hyunjin, “ _we fit just fine don’t worry about it. Goodnight, Daehwi._ ”

“ _Hyunjin’s right, you’re not sleeping on the floor,_ ” said Chan from the door way, pausing to set Jisung and Jeongin’s shoes against the wall so no one would trip on them before making his way to the bed and checking that everyone was okay and that there were enough blankets. He dropped an extra blanket on Seungmin and Jisung in the window, pinching Jisung’s cheek as he went before moving over to Changbin.

“Need a blanket, Bin?” he asked and Changbin shook his head.

“No, I’m good. Daehwi, probably does though, he’s not got a jacket,” pointed out Changbin and Chan nodded grabbing another blanket and moving over to give it to Daehwi.

“ _Thank you,_ ” said Daehwi softly as he took the blanket from Chan.

“ _If you get cold wake one of the others and they can find you another,_ ” said Chan nodding, “ _sleep well, Daehwi._ ” He turned out the light and headed back to the helm to steer the Levanter quickly towards their destination.

“He’s not going to sleep again tonight is he?” asked Jeongin sleepily.

“Is that three days?” asked Hyunjin quietly.

“No, two and half,” said Minho.

“If he doesn’t sleep again tomorrow night we need to get him to sleep,” said Seungmin frowning.

“ _How’re we going to do that, Minnie?_ ” asked Felix yawning in the middle of his sentence.

“ _Sit on him,_ ” announced Jisung and Felix laughed at that the others joining in.

“Okay but really, that’s the only way we’ll get him to sleep if he doesn’t want to,” said Jisung nodding to himself and then yawning. “If he doesn’t sleep tomorrow night we’ll sit on him and make him sleep.”

“Alright, that’s the plan then,” said Minho nodding. “Get some sleep we’re going to be busy.” The room falls silent at that and it’s not long until the majority of the boys are sleeping soundly. Daehwi takes longer to succumb to sleep but he eventually does and then Seungmin quietly climbs over Jisung, realizing sleep wasn’t going to come easy tonight. He grabbed an extra blanket on the way out the door and wrapped it around himself as he made his way to the deck and then up to the helm where Chan was. Chan looked at him surprised.

“Hey, figured you’d be out like a light tonight,” he said.

“I wish,” said Seungmin shaking his head and climbing up the stairs, taking the offered place at Chan’s side when the older held and arm out for him. It was a familiar place. Seungmin knew he wasn’t the only one accustomed to being out here with the oldest held securely against him watching the moonlight reflect against the waves. They had all been here frequently, whenever nightmares plagued them or memories kept them from sleep. The helm was a safe haven from the troubles of the world, or maybe it was just Chan that was their haven from the world.

“Need to talk about it or just want company?” asked Chan shifting the wheel slightly to keep them on track.

“I saw my dad,” said Seungmin.

“How’d that go?”

“I let Felix break his jaw,” said Seungmin, “does that make me a bad person?”

“I had this exact conversation with Minho recently, you know? About do the things we do make us bad people. I don’t think that makes you bad, but in comparison he is going to think anything you do makes you bad. What it comes down to is whose opinion matters to you. I honestly think you could’ve let Felix kill him and would still be in the right. Hell, I’d happily kill him myself,” said Chan, “so no I don’t think you letting Felix break his jaw makes you bad. But I know that he’s your dad and he matters to you so I think it must be hard to reconcile the two feelings. Because that’s not what family is supposed to be and he’s supposed to be your family, but he’s hurt you in ways that cannot be fixed.”

“But he wasn’t that bad,” said Seungmin softly, “it’s not like he was Daehwi’s dad. He never actually hit me or threatened too.”

“Seungmin he convinced you that you weren’t good enough, right? That you wouldn’t live up to what he wanted? He tried to have you killed after shipping you off to war when you didn’t know how to or want to fight,” said Chan, “that’s bad. Just because he didn’t hit you doesn’t mean he wasn’t that bad. It just means he hurt you in different ways.”

“He called me crazy. Said it’s from mom’s side of the family, that he had thought it had skipped her but she’d never been quite right,” said Seungmin, “he said that blood would out and that mom’s crazy outed in me. Is he right?”

“No,” said Chan hesitantly.

“You hesitated,” said Seungmin accusingly.

“Okay, you’re a little crazy, but I wouldn’t say it’s the way he means it. It’s a good kind of crazy. Everyone that’s great is a little crazy, everyone as smart as you are is a little crazy, it’s the price of being that kind of smart,” said Chan nodding, “any one of us that’s doing this right now, that’s fighting the alliances and the government, we’re all crazy. You scaled a cliff in the dead of night to sneak into a fucking fort, Seungmin. Yes, that’s crazy, but it’s the kind of crazy that people tell stories about for centuries. Don’t let weak minded people convince you that you are not incredible.”

“He said I’m not his son,” said Seungmin, “I should be okay with that, right? I hate him. I hate him so much. I shouldn’t want him to be my dad. I should be able to deny it and mean it, right?” Chan hugs him tighter.

“It’s okay if it hurts, it’s supposed to, that’s why he said it. You grew up with him, he was family too you. That’s not easy to let go of,” said Chan, “you don’t have to say it and mean it ever, but don’t let him ruin your life because of it. And it’s okay if it just takes some time until you can say it and mean it.”

“I don’t want it to hurt. I don’t want to feel like this, why can’t I stop it?” asked Seungmin frowning.

“Seungmin, I know you don’t like to deal with things this way, but I think you’re going to have to feel this one all at once instead of bottling it and working through it the way you normally do. Once you let yourself feel it you’ll be able to move on,” said Chan softly.

“I’ll be okay after?” asked Seungmin hesitantly looking at Chan who nodded immediately.

“Maybe not immediately, but you’ll feel better,” said Chan, “it’s not going to make sense no matter how you look at it because this isn’t something he did rationally so you can’t rationalize it. It’s just going to hurt. Let it hurt so you can move on.”

“What do I do after?” asked Seungmin.

“You have us,” said Chan nodding. “We’ve got you.” Seungmin nodded and leaned into Chan again. They were quiet for several minutes as Seungmin processed what had happened in the tunnel that night and silent tears slipped down his face. Chan hugged him tighter and Seungmin knew it was going to be okay. Chan was right, it hurt, but there was something Chan hadn’t mentioned. Seungmin could lose his father that he hadn’t ever really had in the first place because he had the Levanter and the Levanter had been more of a family than his father had ever been. Seungmin cried and then in between quiet tears told Chan everything he hadn’t ever told anyone else and Chan listened and let Seungmin get it all out and into the open. Seungmin fell asleep against Chan and when Jisung sleepily came looking for him passed him off to Jisung to carry back to bed.

“Is he okay now?” asked Jisung as he tucked the blanket around Seungmin tighter before carefully scooping him up.

“No, but he’s going to be,” said Chan nodding. “I know he’s not normally very cuddly, but I think he needs it tonight.” Jisung nodded.

“On it captain, no need to worry I’ve got him. Want me to wake Changbin-hyung to take over?” asked Jisung.

“No,” said Chan shaking his head. “Not yet.” Jisung narrowed his eyes at him.

“If you don’t sleep tonight or tomorrow I will make you sleep, don’t think I won’t,” said Jisung.

“I’ll sleep, I swear,” said Chan quickly nodding. Jisung and Changbin had sat on him before, he had no doubt they would do it again if they felt they needed to.

“Alright,” said Jisung nodding, “goodnight, hyung.”

“Night, Jisung-ah,” said Chan and watched as Jisung got the two of them safely down the stairs and then disappeared towards the cabin. There was a long night ahead of them and a long few weeks. They had to safely dodge the pirates and Navy alike and get to the Ego’s hidden port in time to meet up with the others. Years ago Chan had sat in the rigging of a Navy ship and listened as an old sailor told Mark the story of the son of the sea and Chan briefly wished that he was actually the son of a sea goddess, maybe then he’d know if they were going to make it through this or not.

**Author's Note:**

> yes i realize that the letter was not read in this one it will be read in the next one i promise there were more important things to get out of the way first 
> 
> ab6ix is not going to be a pirate crew (i hope that's how you spell their group name) but they exist in the world mostly because seungmin needed a friend from home 
> 
> more is on the way soon...as i mentioned there's nothing to do but write and watch netflix because i've read all my books i got for christmas already so this is getting updated a lot while i still have time and energy to write it XD 
> 
> oh also the working title for this was quit telling people i'm dead (because i don't title things until i post them) 
> 
> thank you for reading i love you all!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡


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